Colleen

03:42 pm: Serious posting for all women!!!!!!!!
Some of you may know mom was diagnosed with breast cancer almost19 years ago so I take this to heart.  This is a serious and very real medical condition I had very little knowledge about until recently.  Its called INFLAMMATORY BREAST CANCER.  IBC is not like the normal cancer its more elusive and much harder to detect and diagnose; there are people even in the medical profession that are in the dark on it.  Please look into this beautiful women in my life; pass it on:  website:  http://www.ibcresearch.org/ 
Learn, educate and live in peace.
With all my love,
Col

 

03:30 pm: Varous Life Stuff
 

Hi everyone,

Well its been a while since I posted; with the holiday madness and trying to not only figure out the wedding but how to pay for it well you can imagine my little head is spinning.

Money...well we all have our issues now don't we...I'm going with us hitting the lotto then we can not only help ourselves but a friends we've always wanted to see come out on top.

Wedding...we are down to 2 places to have it.  Seeing the second place on Wednesday.  I'm sitting her listening to potential wedding songs...there are so many good ones..this is a toughy.  Picked the bridal party, I'll post on the knot when everything is settled, we are hoping to have the main details finished by the end of the month.  Meesha took engagement pictures, I can't wait to see them!

Mom is doing pretty well, I'm so pleased (she seems to not be so worried anymore...guess being 35 and not married was getting to her, my sisters married very young).

Work is good, hoping for a nice raise and good review in a month.  I have Stacey, Jenn & Jessica there so I have fun at the very least on coffee breaks.

Health...I SO need to loose weight, the pressure is back up and I'm on pills again not to mention how my body just hurts.  I hope to loose enough to come off the pills and get my energy back to actually work faire this season, I really miss working with Sandie.  Besides there really is nothing like working it...we bitch when we do it but I never realized how I had missed it.

Anyway thats all for now...more to come.

Love you!!!

02:28 pm: I couldn't do it....
Okay I kinda caved....after a horrid encounter with weight wathers lasagna florentine I had to go to the store and shop. Got lots of stuff thats good for me but I couldn't go without eating grapes and OJ after lunch. Well OJ for vitamins, I have no desire to catch the plague thats going around work (btw Weight Watchers makes light oj...its good too).
So kinda off the wagon but not really, so much for cutting down my food intake...at least I haven't touched the BOWL of Halloween candy behind me...LOL.

12:52 pm: The damn wagon wont stop!!!!

Okay I'm trying to get on the damn weight loss wagon but it wont slow down!!!!  I'm freakin starving Mr. Bigglesworth!!!!!  UGH, I hate the first day back on!!  I just really need to loose the 5 I gained over the summer before the holiday maddness begins, with any luck I might even be ahead of the game by the New Year.

Okay feeling better.....gonna go eat soon, wish me luck....lord I need it today...

08:55 am: Insecurities and venting...

Okay today is a very bad day....I have a little black cloud over my head and I don't think its gonna go away anytime soon.  I woke up and put on my clothes for work constantly pulling down my shirt to magically make it cover my hips.  I've lost around 27 pounds down to a size 14 and yet I still feel like a fat cow, that Derek will leave me for someone skinnier and that I'm not worth a fucking thing unless I'm thin & attractive by societys standards. 

And here I thought I was doing so well, I felt good and was okay with me.  GOD DAMN!!!  Does there ever come a point where you are okay with yourself, do you ever feel your worth.  I'm in a vicious circle right now and I'm not at a point where I can put a stop to it....I will just can't right now (I know it sounds so nuts but its where I am).

I have other emotional issues going on that I wont post (it would definitely be posting dirty laundry and would hurt others).  All I want to do is curl up under the covers, turn off all the lights, light candles and listen to The Cure.  

Sigh, okay I have to try and work now.....lets see how long she can keep it together before she bursts into tears.

Later. 

09:59 pm: Okay sick but I kinda like it...

What kind of God are you? Name  DOB  Favourite Color  You earthly time was spent  Raining torrents of blood while sailing over the prostrate masses in an iron chariot Your throne is  A great mountain wreathed in silver cloud, attended by angelic beings of light, arced with lightning and bathed in glory You wear  A humble tunic and robes, belying your inestimable supernatural powers just waiting to shatter the woes of Creation Your Godly superpower is  Bolts of crackling lightning from your fingertips and total invincibility

09:54 pm: Oh I just HAD to...and who'd have thunk it...hehe

You scored as Captain Jack Sparrow.
Roguish,quick-witted, and incredibly lucky, Jack Sparrow is a pirate who sometimes ends up being a hero, against his better judgement. Captain Jack looks out for #1, but he can be counted on (usually) to do the right thing. He has an incredibly persuasive tongue, a mind that borders on genius or insanity, and an incredible talent for getting into trouble and getting out of it. Maybe its brains, maybe its genius, or maybe its just plain luck. Or maybe a mixture of all three.
Captain Jack Sparrow 79% William Wallace 79% Lara Croft 71% James Bond, Agent 007 63% Maximus 63% El Zorro 58% Neo, the "One" 54% The Terminator 54% The Amazing Spider-Man 50% Batman, the Dark Knight 46% Indiana Jones 42%

09:42 pm: Thank you's and updates.

First let me thank all of you for the warm birthday wishes, it means allot.

My birthday was pretty wonderful!.  From the tons of cards at work, a birthday song from Rocket in CA, loads of posts wishing me well from some of you, dinner that night down to a small get together my honey put together for me.  Not to mention lots of cuddle-time from honey watching scary movies on this past pre-Halloween weekend.  I truly can't complan I've definitely had much worse.

Again thanks for all the love you've all shown me...it gives me hope and keeps me going.

Till my next post...all my love.

12:12 pm: This Weekend

Saturday was Tina & Scott's wedding and it was so wonderful.  Everyone looked so pretty and presentable and it was just a good time in general.  There is was too much to tell (and of course I didn't upload what pictures I did take)so here are some highlights:

Kathy Vink looked lovely in cranberry and a tapestry corset.

Terri was pretty as a picture in her lovely blue dress from Thornyrose.

Groomsmen in kilts...need I say more....hehe.

Meredith has the voice of an angel!!!  (and it goes without saying she looked fine..hehe)

My honey looked so handsome...

And there are no words to express how exquisite Tina looked.

A wonderful evening was had by all I believe, I know I had a great time dispite a headache..lol.

 

11:43 am: Happy B-Day!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DRKGRRRL30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

01:52 pm: Sigh...why can't I be playing WoW.

Well I'm at work and the meeting left us all with a whole lot of questions and very little answers. Things will be changing and all indications point to me loosing my job most likley by the new year.  Might have an iron in the fire (she hopes) but I'm so tired of thinking about things.....wish I were gaming....pout.  Just can't do the what-if's anymore and its the waiting thats gonna be the death of me.  I HATE THE WAITING GAME!   Anyway enough whining for now....later.

01:51 pm: Awwww....hehe.

You Are Warm Nights by the Fire

Peaceful and romantic. The best part of fall.

09:12 am: I think it just got worse.....CRAP
Remind me to keep my mouth shut! I said it could be worse yesterday and I think it just did. Email this morning from the CEO of the company, there is to be a company wide meeting today to discuss cut backs. This doesn't look good for the kid.....I have a bad feeling about this.
Michele if you read this I'll forward the email to your home addy.
Sigh...wish me luck, I might need it.

01:55 pm: UGH.....i'm shot.
Well I'm at work again, had to leave early yesterday and came in late today...migraines again. Don't know if its cause of the Nasonex or a combination of that and the pill. Sigh, I'm just tired of feeling like crap.
But things are okay over all...Derek and I are still doing well, my boss rocks and Rocketrn and I patched things up.
Just need to settle things in my head with Kat's wedding but overall....Things could be a whole lot worse.
Be safe all.

10:37 pm: YAY.........
I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU....
HEHE....
(you know who you are....missed you!)

01:10 pm: A few things for the record....
Okay first off Aruba rocked...it was total paradise. Can't wait to go back. Will load pictures if I ever get a moment. Divi was so pretty and the beach was gorgeous, I could actually see my feet in the ocean...UGH. Sigh...okay I'm back.

Now things get around so I'm gonna make a few statements:
I am no longer in Kat's wedding. We are fine and we remain friends, I still wish her every happiness I just cannot be a part of it.

Second: Derek and I looked at engagement rings we aren't engaged and at this point not getting married. We just looked and thats enough for me.

Kisses all...

05:09 pm: The great lie
Whoever said that time heals all wounds is a fucking liar!!!!!

(Everything will be fine...I'm just in a bad place right now)

10:40 am: Is anyone else getting nervous?....
Okay I'm really starting to get nervous here....we're getting emails from our carriers that they can make deliveries not because they can't get to the area but because they don't have the gas. Our own carrier ran out of gas because there were no stations with gas to sell then when he did someone siphoned his tank dry while he slept.
Some areas are already running out...and they say its gonna get worse before it gets better. I'm completely getting paranoid here...right....right?....

03:13 pm: Everyday crap.
Well its been a while since I posted, been feeling like crap.
So bad in fact I was starting to wonder if I had Captain Tripps (baby can you dig yo man...he's a righteous man...baby can you dig yo man)...LOL.
On the whole things are ok, feeling better. Will be up at site sometime this weekend and have recommited myself to loosing weight. Things with honey are still wonderful and his birthday turned out great.
Gearing up for our trip to Aruba...I'm so excited!!! That's basically it work is work, hoping the gas thing doesn't impact us too badly. I'm kinda hoping the Stryker thing actually comes through; it would be a huge help financially....
Anyway...see you around town.
Kisses.

11:08 am: Thinking of Jenn
Jimmys on and I can't help but think of Jenn....LOL!
Kisses darlin.